awkward: say farewell, say hello

Arts camp was off the chain. Sooo much fun... I will post some more photos when I can log on with my own computer (it doesn't have a dial up connection option). We ended with a bang... performances at the nursing home, downtown and Foster beach on Thursday, followed by Six Flags on Friday! Six Flags was great, started out with a performance in front of the HUGE carousel followed by a full day of water park with my chaperone group. I had a blast on some crazy rides with Joseph... I was going backwards in a tube with him and it was scary! Dropping down backwards in a tube in pitch darkness interspersed with flashes of light, allowing me to see Joe's face as he caught glimpses of what was coming. When it was over, we just sat laughing like crazy for a bit. Awesome. Miss that boy. We spent a lot of time on the lazy river... the first few rounds were 'get Ruth as wet as possible' rides. Three against one. They shoved me under every waterfall they could find... I couldn't stop laughing! We also had more peaceful times... holding on to each other's tubes, floating slowly as we talked about the week and my upcoming move... by this time it was starting to sink in and tears were always right under the surface when anyone mentioned my move - already dreading the goodbyes I knew were coming my way on Saturday. I had been busy packing, prepping for camp, working camp... I had been able to push aside the emotional side of it and now camp was only hours away from being over and it was hitting home big time. So glad I got some quality time in with Jordan and Joseph...

On Saturday, I got up early after a few hours of sleep, filled a giant cup with my homemade, iced Soy Chai and headed out to get a cut from hair genius and friend Kyle. I could barely talk... my voice was messed up from all the screaming and laughing from 6 Flags. We sat and brainstormed and shared vision about art and Jesus (this always happens we get together) and he put on some good tunes for us to listen to... a good way for me to wake up (but probably not for his wife, Kim... sorry!). Oh snap! the time! (This also always happens). I ran out the door, and rushed back to the YWAM base to pick up Brad so he could drop me at the truck rental. I didn't need to rush... it took them a long time in a hot and stuffy room to do the paperwork (between long spurts of conversations between the staff), finally hop in the truck and head home to load up. Thanks to Arts camp staff, my truck was loaded in 10 minutes. Wow! The rest of the afternoon was spent wrapping up random things at the base for Brad (boring stuff like canceling phone services, accounting, etc).

The staff had planned a BBQ for me to give me a chance to see people before I left. Such a beautiful time... lots of tears, stories, laughing through my tears, many pictures, good food... I can't describe what I felt... except to say that I was so incredibly blessed to have so many good friends and to have had the opportunity to serve along side such awesome people. Brad made me get up in front of everyone as he shared about the things I had been involved with during our time of working together. I was holding it together pretty good until he started crying and then there was no turning it off anymore, no more denial... just a loud, ripping sound as my heart was tearing in half. How is it possible to be so excited about arriving in Indiana and the chance to hang with family and my church, and at the same time feel so incredibly sad about moving away? The camp kids surprised me with painted fabric squares they had made for me... apparently I had crashed their workshop while they were making them for me and happily joined in, painting away... and they managed to pretend like nothing was going on... :) Thank you to everyone who made it out to the BBQ. I love you all. And I miss you already.



Marlene and I stopped by at a friend's rooftop party to say goodbye to a few more people and stopped for some ice cream on the way home... I am soooooooo glad Marlene was in Chicago my last week there. Without her influence in my life, I can honestly say that I would have accomplished a LOT less during my time in Chicago. She has become one of my closest friends and it was such a comfort to have her there. Mar, thank you for EVERYTHING!

6am on Sunday seemed to come extraordinarily early... time for Arts With A Mission staff to hit the road... more tearful 'see you laters' and a couple more hours of sleep... then I loaded the rest of my stuff in my cute little 10 foot truck and said some more hard 'see you laters' to Brad, Jordan and Joseph... headed off to brunch with Eric, Jessie, Libby, John and Glenn. Glenn had to work at O'Shaughnessy's and I'm so glad... otherwise I might have never learned that they have the best Black Bean Burgers EVER.... Jessie asked how I was feeling... happy? The honest answer... I have no idea. I already miss these good people a ton. I made brunch last as long as possible, took a few pictures, a round of hugs and I was off...

As I rolled down the highway and saw the skyline in the mirror, the tears started to fall. I loved living in Chicago. I also love my family. So the awkwardness continues... sadness and joy, tears and laughter... and culture shock. Haha. More on that later...